Applying for everything…
It has been kinda tough applying for all of these jobs and not hearing back from any of them… I understand that places like Craigslist draw more applicants than an HR staff can sift through, but I would have expected at least a nibble by now. I am beginning to think that maybe people need to stand out more with their cover letter and resume. Forcing people to think outside the box may cut off most of the lazy applicants and allow you to find the creative individuals in the stack… Check out this posting for a computer repair technician.
RED STAR MACHINE WORKS, most glorious of all Portland computer shops, is looking for new talent. We’re a Mt. Tabor neighborhood shop that repairs and builds computers, provides on-site and telephone support, and sells parts. We are looking for someone special. We need experienced, knowledgeable, conscientious, psychologically stable technicians who take pride in their work and provide excellent customer service. Patience, drive, education, and social skills are a must. We are not interested in basement dwelling virgins. Instead, we are interested in good natured people with a variety of PC hardware, networking, and software experience with a varied background. Apple Macintosh knowledge is prized but not absolutely necessary. Successful candidates can expect long hours, lousy pay, hugs, and an endless supply of company-subsidized caffeinated beverages and cupcakes. Salary depends on ability. Bonus availability. Pay is negotiatable. Flexible hours. Send resume and cover letter to info@redstarmachineworks.com or mail them to RSMW, Division of Information Retrieval, 4505 SE Belmont, Portland, Oregon 97215.
And here is my cover letter:
Dear Recruitment Overlord:
I am writing in response to the Computronic Human listing on Craigslist, and am incredibly interested in interviewing for this position.
I believe that my years providing support to the less technically endowed combined with my ability to handle drunks in a courteous and timely manner makes me the perfect candidate for this position. Having lived for the last few years without a basement and with a girlfriend who detests technology, I find that I am perfectly acclimated to the outside world. While living under these constraints I am still quite capable of sifting through technological problems for solutions. My recent ventures involve building several Wordpress websites and installing OSX on my Dell laptop. The lure of low pay and subsidized calories is an incredibly draw for this systems builder and technical support specialist.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my attached qualifications. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and a chance to discuss possible cupcake stipends and this opportunity further.
Respectfully yours,
James Schmock
No reply yet…. What do you do?
Unemployment on the Rise
Looks as if Oregon just hit 12.1 % unemployment this week!
The spike means Oregon’s unemployment rate has doubled since June 2008, when 5.9 percent of the state’s residents weren’t working. The number is nearly 50 percent higher than the national 8.5 percent rate.
All I can say is this recession may be having a profound effect on the Internet as we know it. Could a lack of a 9 to 5 cause this kind of innovation?
The setup is surprisingly complex: A natural gas sensor does the sniffing; an Arduino does the thinking; an XBee wireless module does the communicating; Twitter does the sharing. It’s a feat, to be sure.
The Job Search Continues…
For a second there I thought that my brother had gone to the darkside. How could it be that there was something relevent on Foxnews.com? After rushing to check out the link (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,512957,00.html) in his away message, I stumbled on an interesting opportunity. I can haz work with Lolcats! Apparently they need more bad spellars.
Ben Huh, founder of the site and chief executive of Seattle-based Pet Holdings Inc., has received 250 applications since the job was posted on Monday under the headline “Kittehs Want Moar Workerhumans.”
On a serious note, why is it everything that looks interesting happened last year. I look for Job Fairs and other events to help find work and it turns out they already happened… There is next to nothing going on out there 
The ‘No Updates for 3 Months!’ Update
Wow, that has never happened to me before, I swear. Life kind of hit a brick wall and I am still trying to pick up the pieces. Upon returning to work in January I was faced with a decision. Should I leave behind all the Pixie Pal’s that I made in Brisby Land’s own Tinker Island to work for a company which produces state of the art graphic design and productivity suites from sun cooked clay? Why did I even have to ask myself that question?!? After applying and scoring higher on the test than my own manager did when he was an agent on the contract, I was in… For three weeks.
Why on earth would a company pay thirteen trainees to complete four of the five weeks of training at a cost of well over two thousand dollars per person only to lay them off? How could that possibly be a sound decision? You could say, lay off your 8 lowest performers on the floor and then weed the bad newbies… More paperwork I imagine. More difficult conversations. On the plus side the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act cut my Cobra payments to 35% so I can afford to have healthcare. Now if only I could find a job…
I have a million pictures I need to put up. There’s Bill’s visit, Dad’s visit, the Olympic Peninsula, the Mount Hood hot springs, and pictures of the MINIVAN WE NOW OWN! That’s right, we are the proud owners of a minivan, what is my life coming to?
I am so far behind. I want to transition the site to Drupal or Wordpress and then add start using flash galleries for the pictures, but can hardly find the time. All I can say is that I am going to try harder to not go three months without putting something up here for no one to read. Until next time…